Don’t meet this deadline

Plot: A kidnapping drama revolving around doctors, the film starts off as a thriller and ends up being a Sunday Sermon you wish you’d never attended. Dr Viren Goenka (Rajat Kapoor) has it all —money, a plush apartment, tons of neatly polished trophies and a wife who makes sure he eats his salad (served with an overflowing bottle of mayonnaise). Oh, there’s also a gudiya rani sort of daughter, Anishka (sounds like a sneeze every time the name is uttered), who gets kidnapped by Krish (owl-eyed Irrfan Khan) twenty minutes into the film.
We can’t reveal why he kidnaps her (it would be a spoiler, no?) but we can reveal that the movie also stars Sandhya Mridul, who seems to have gotten her hair-colour job at Lata’s Beauty Parlour. The second half of the film has more twists and turns than the dance performances on Jhalak Dikhhla Jaa.
Whats hot: We have a wannabe thriller on our hands. We are lead to believe that Krish’s intentions are evil. We are also led to believe that to act like an asthma patient, you need to mime scenes from The Exorcist. But we forgive and forget towards the second half. That’s when the movie starts moving towards the end, at times dishing out some tight suspense. Konkona Sen Sharma shimmers in a weak character. Konkona’s struggle to save her daughter’s life may look feeble, but it also brings out the human qualities in her character.
Whats not: The film serves as a Dummies Guide to make a family drama under the disguise of a thriller. You expect some edge-of-the-seat excitement, but the only reason you sit on that edge is while waiting for the final reel to roll. There’s a fight to nab the Enemy Number 1 title: is it the script, the actors, or the tacky direction? I think we should call a tie and let all three of them share it.
Kidnapping dramas can be thrilling (Khiladi) as well as fun (Hera Pheri), but Deadline makes its own category: boring. Out of the actors, Irrfan hams it up like there’s no tomorrow. He comes across as a poor man’s Nana Patekar without a kalamwali bai. He desperately needs to get out of this ‘I can be serious and funny at the same time’.
What’s that: Sandhya tries to hide her flaws under layers of cheap make up and hair mascara. Here’s hoping we see a more fun side to her in Honeymoon Travels. The climax is not only preachy but also dragged to the point of being ridiculously unbelievable. In spite of an interesting premise, the director gets stuck in a web of clichés and sails on safe waters. Thankfully, there are no songs.
What to do: Don’t give yourself a deadline to watch this movie. Make an instant decision and stay away from this turkey.