`Salma`nesia!

Though Shah Rukh Khan is the biggest Bollywood star in Malaysia, on Thursday night it looked like Salman Khan had taken over his mantle. At the screening of Baabul during the on-going Global Indian Film Awards 2007 in Kuala Lumpur, Salman strided in with spiked, gelled hair (we spotted Aalim around; guess this was his scary doing!) and the screams from the excited locals wouldn’t stop! The red carpet premiere of Baabul, at every floor of the imposing KLCC Towers, had zillions of fans waiting to get a glimpse of the stars.
The local folk stood for hours in advance just for a dekho of their favourite actors. They cheered for Salman and John Abraham in the same breath as there did for Shatrughan Sinha, Jeetendra and Rohit Roy! Though a ticket cost 10 ringgits (approx Rs 120), the rates were hiked to 30 ringgits to cash in on the starry presence.
Esha’s veg khoj
Post the screening of Baabul, a famished Esha Deol was looking for some veggies and dal. Malay cuisine abounds in seafood, and if you are veggie and unadventurous, you have to remain hungry (like Esha did). Or better still, stick to salads like Helen.
Gups day out
Blue bash: Salman Khan and Katrina Kaif at the GIFA event in Kuala LumpurDay 2 at GIFA 2007 had Sanjay Gupta unspool the promos of two films, Woodstock Villa (directed by Hansal Mehta) and Shootout At Lokhandwala (directed by Apoorva Lakhia), which he has co-produced with Balaji Telefilms. Present were some of the cast members, including Sikandar Kher, Neha Uberoi, Arbaaz Khan, Sunil Shetty and Rohit Roy.
Gupta also screened one of the stories from his next project Dus Kahaniyaan, titled Zahir, which stars Manoj Bajpai and Dia Mirza. Bajpai plays a bank employee who chucks his job to pursue his true calling (writing), while Mirza is his neighbour — who is a call centre employee by day and a bar dancer by night.
Support for Dada
Rohit Roy, who features in Shootout At Lokhandwala, seems to have carried his ‘Make Dada captain’ slogan to Malaysian shores as well. He hosted Sanjay Gupta’s event, but not before making all present aware that Sourav Ganguly had played a scintillating knock in South Africa.
Aaarti Chabria has been walking barefoot at the GIFA event. The reason: a sprained ankle. Prior to leaving for Kuala Lumpur, she twisted her ankle while walking along Breach Candy. She had to be rushed to the Breach Candy hospital but the plaster on her ankle could not dampen her spirits to fly to KL. She plays the role of a bar dancer in Shootout at Lokhandwala. We spotted her limping in a pretty pink plaster with her mother in tow.
Saif can’t come
Though he is Provogue’s new brand ambassador after Fardeen Khan opted out, Saif Ali Khan is skipping Provogue’s fashion gala where he was to be introduced as the new face of Provogue. It is left to Esha Deol and Upen Patel (also ambassadors) to walk the ramp, as part of GIFA 2007.

Meri awaaz suno!

Papa Amitabh Bachchan has lent his voice to several films in the past. But this is perhaps the first time that Abhishek is following his father’s footsteps in that direction. The actor recently recorded a voiceover for Smita Thackeray’s forthcoming production, Kaisey Kahein.
Just right
Directed by Mohit Hussein (director of the TV show Tumhari Disha) the film is set for a February 2007 release. Talking about Abhishek’s contribution to the project, Mohit says, “We were looking at a couple of names, but I was very keen on Abhishek. He had the right urban personality to match the feel of my film. I was delighted when he agreed to lend his voice.”
Bachchan junior will be heard in the introduction and concluding segment of Kaisey Kahein. “We begin the film with a voiceover, where Abhishek talks about the characters and lays the foundation of the plot. Towards the end of the film, the audience will again hear his voice summing up the movie.”
Mohit says that Abhishek even complimented the film after watching a teaser. He says, “Usually, people give clichéd reactions after watching a teaser, but Abhishek asked to see it twice. He loved it and congratulated me on the project. It definitely boosted my morale.”
Not a cliché
Kaisey Kahein stars newcomer Rajveer Dutt and Neha Julka. The film is a love story and Mohit says it won’t fall into the trap of a routine Bollywood cliché. “Every one claims that their film is different. I wouldn’t want to say the same. I think the audience will react instinctively after they see it.” Mohit has also scripted the film and is all geared up for the release. “We are looking at a pre-Valentine’s Day release. I think the film is a perfect date movie.”
Coming from the television industry, Mohit considers himself lucky to have gotten a good break in Bollywood. “My producer Smita Thackeray didn’t compromise on anything in the film. I was given a good budget and could accommodate everything I needed. The film’s teaser will be screened at GIFA and will release early next year.”

`Bigg Boss`s house is full of pythons!`

In the snake pit: Aryan VaidFor weeks now, the country witnessed the brewing romance between Aryan Vaid and Anupama Verma on Bigg Boss, whispering sweet nothings in each other’s ears, holding hands and hugging for the camera. That romantic equation has now changed with Aryan’s ouster. The actor was evicted from the show last night. Currently, he is going through a myriad of emotions. “I’m shocked, disappointed and worried about my state of mind,” he said, speaking minutes after coming out of Bigg Boss’s studio in Karjat.
Were you surprised at your eviction?
I was stumped. I didn’t understand the logic behind it. There has been a lot of dirty politics going on in the house so I decided to stay away from it. Even now, I’m thinking about why I was voted out. I just don’t see why the audience would have wanted me out.
Did you expect to fall in love with Anupama?
Of course not. I entered the house with no expectations, just like every one else. I don’t want to give my relationship with Anupama any name. As every one has witnessed, it’s definitely a special bond and she’s now a very important person in my life. I value and treasure every moment I spent with her. She’s not only beautiful from the outside but also has a sparkling soul. I have tremendous respect for the way she has conducted herself in the house. We have met socially, but never had a chance to connect. This was a great opportunity to discover the real Punna.
Do you plan taking this relationship forward?
It’s too early to speculate on anything. I’ll wait for the show to get over and see where things go. I just hope Anupama takes care of herself and doesn’t fall into bad company.
Who is the bad company you are referring to?
Definitely Ravi (Kissen). I can’t believe he backstabbed me. He spoke about Anupama and me getting engaged on the show and how we are meant for each other. Then he goes into the confession room and nominates me. He said I was getting frustrated, which is why he wanted me out. I think he’s the one who is frustrated. There are pythons in that house! I can’t believe Ravi could stoop to such low levels, especially when he has a wife and three kids.
There’s a buzz that your romance with Anupama’s is staged…
I don’t know how to react to this. Its ridiculous for anyone to even think on those lines. I never planned to get close to Anupama before entering the show. It was natural and instinctive. What you saw was something very special, honest and straight from the heart. There was no acting or fake emotions attached to our bond. It’s disturbing when people think that way.
Your equation with Ragini kept changing with every episode.
There was no equation with Ragini to begin with. But when I saw her cry as I left, it struck me how strongly she felt for me. She was a pretty girl and I was just being myself. I dont think there is anything more to read between my frienship with her.
Your favourite moment on the show.
All the precious moments I spent with Anupama are special to me. It was great hanging out with her.
Who put you off the most?
It was scary watching Rupali and Carol giving massages to the guys. Every evening, these girls would land up in the guys room and turn into masseurs. I never expected to see anything of this sort. Of all the people in the house, Ravi put me off the most. I couldn’t stand him, especially towards the end.
Would you want to return to the house as the Wildcard entry?
Only if Anupama stays. I have no other reason to go back other than being with her.

‘We lost out by half a point’

Their ouster from Nach Baliye 2 has affected them so deeply, that Tanaaz Lal has almost lost her voice. The actress can neither think nor explain, and so is the case with beau Bakhtyaar Irani.
After several calls and much persuasion, Bakhtyaar finally spoke to HiTLIST about their ‘so near yet so far’ fate on Nach Baliye.
“To say that we are shocked is an understatement. Our feast is over. We tried to reach the sweetest dish on the menu, but God had other plans,” begins Bakhtyaar.
Devastated
“My parents have taken the ouster very badly. Tanaaz’s daughter Zianne too is in very bad shape. Delnaz (Paul, his sister) came to our place to cheer us up, and so did Manav Gohil. It seems someone has died in our house. The less said about Tanaaz the better. That day, we slept at 3 am. I woke up at 6 am to find Tanaaz not by my side. I ran out and saw her standing in the balcony. It was scary. She was sobbing.”
Close call
Brushing aside our question about whether the Tonks are more popular than them, (Yash and Gouri piped them because of public votes), Irani simply says, “We got more votes than them over all the weeks, except this one. Anchors Manish and Poonam Goyal said we were being eliminated by half a point. I really cannot fathom what they meant by ‘half a point’.
Apart from this vote angle, I think we could not connect with the judges after the regional round (where the couple scored only 19 points).” Bakhtyaar maintains, “I don’t think that Nach Baliye 2 is rigged. Wouldn’t it have been better for the channel in terms of TRPs if Tanaaz and I had locked horns with Hussain and Tina?”
The actor feels that had the couple devoted more time to participate in the reality episodes, the story would have been different. “We were only rehearsing. Look at Hiten and Gauri. They always spoke to the viewers. The next reality show we do, we now know what we need to do.”
We know our job!
Reacting to Gouri Tonk’s remark that the couple should have taken the tournament more seriously, Bakhtyaar says, “This is our job. And we do our job very seriously. Those who did not, hum jaante hain unka kya haal hua.”
Bakhtyaar and Tanaaz are currently in Delhi. “We will not be attending Rajeev and Delnaz’s 10-year wedding anniversary bash today. We needed to get away from Mumbai. We couldn’t take it. Let us take a break for four days,” concludes Irani.
Behen Ho To Aisi
Delnaaz Paul tells us, “Unlike every Wednesday, this time they (Bakhtyaar and Tanaaz) did not call me at 9.30 pm. Finally, they messaged at 11 pm saying they had been eliminated and I thought they were joking. For me, they are the best.
Among all the couples who have participated in Nach Baliye, Bakhtyaar and Tanaaz are unarguably the best. My brother is putting up a brave front by talking to you, but I know he has taken it very badly. You need b***s to do the innovative acts that my brother and Tanaaz did, and our entire family salutes them. I am sure the nation also is doing that.”

Priyanka, Koena to jam with Nelly Furtado!

Grammy Award-winning American popstrel Nelly Furtado will be performing in Mumbai for a music concert on December 31. And guess who’s going to be sharing the same stage as her? We’ve got confirmation that a bunch of B-town celebs, including Priyanka Chopra, Koena Mitra and Shahid Kapoor will be Nelly’s opening act on New Year’s Eve.
What’s more A R Rahman too will be performing along with Canadian-based desi band Josh (who are instrumental in bringing the singer to India).
Joshila jugalbandi
The Bolly junta will dance to a set of popular filmi numbers. Says Koena, “I’m performing to five of my favourite songs, including the latest tracks from Apna Sapna Money Money.” This will be followed by a jam session between the other performers, except for A R Rahman. He has been reserved for the grand finale.
Says Priyanka, “Unfortunately, I haven’t met Nelly and will see her only on stage. I’m going to be travelling to South Africa for God Tussi Great Ho, after which I will head to Prague to shoot for Drona. I don’t even have the time for technical rehearsals.”
Miss Piggy Chops is such a big fan of the international artiste that she even has her songs as her mobile’s caller tune. She says, “Promiscuous is my current favourite. In fact, I had the track I’m like a bird for the longest time.”
For Koena, however, the jamming session with Nelly is the big draw. “I’m so used to doing solo shows. It’s rare to share the stage with fellow colleagues. I’m equally excited as it’s a Nelly Furtado concert.”
Why not, Shahid?
The Bolly beauties have no qualms about working on the New Year’s Eve either. “This is the first time I’m working on New Year’s Eve,” says Priyanka. “In the past, I’ve only shot for a couple of hours in the day and then rushed back home to be with family. This time around, I’m going to usher in the New Year with thousands of people. It’s going to be a wonderful experience,” she says.
On the other hand, Koena says, “Seeing the pop diva belting out numbers beside me is going to be quite an exciting experience.”
Meanwhile, a hesitant Shahid Kapur refused to divulge whether he was doing the concert or not. A source close to him says, “He is in talks with them. and yet to finalise his participation.”

Even my maid asks for a fee hike!

It’s been almost a month since Kanchi Kaul made an exit from Ek Ladki Anjaani Si. There was a great deal of buzz surrounding her ouster from the show in which she played the main protagonist, Ananya.
From demanding an exorbitant fee to throwing attitude on the sets, Kanchi was the cause of consternation for both the channel (Sony) and the production house (Shreya Creations).
At that time, she preferred not to react to the allegations against her.
Now, the actress is in more than a mood to tell al.
What went wrong with Ek Ladki?
All these allegations cropped up as it was an opportune time. My contract had expired in August and since it had to be renewed, I asked for a meeting with the channel. For over a month, I was not given a date. I was kept waiting. They just assumed that I was acting pricey.
Did you ask for a fat fee hike?
Yes, I did ask for a fee hike. After a year of shooting every single day, I thought I deserved it. Even my maid asks for a hike in her salary every year. But the amount was not outlandish. I was willing to talk it out, but I was kept waiting for a meeting for over a month. I became a victim of someone’s big ego. I’m acting as it is my passion, it is not for the moolah.
Are you referring to Sony’s Sandiip Sikcand?
I don’t want to take any names, but it is pretty obvious. The way everything was done and the things that were said about me were unprofessional and very unethical. There was so much mud-slinging. It just showed what kind of people they are.It is alleged that you had problems with your co-actors and crew of Ek Ladki.
I am still in touch with them. Need I say more?
Another allegation is that you were the reason for Mohnish Behl’s exit from Ek Ladki.If I was so powerful and called the shots on the show, I would not have been out of it. Everyone knows that Mohnish was out of Ek Ladki after a particular person took charge in Sony. I wish I were so powerful to hire and fire as alleged!
What have you been up to lately?
I am presently in Goa chilling out and catching up on films at the IFFI festival. Prior to this trip, I went off for a trek to Coorg. The place is beautiful and it was an enriching experience.
Are you looking at new projects?
Yes I am. I wanted to take some days off after shooting continuously. I wanted to be with my family. Now I will be back looking at both television and film offers. I am not fussy about the medium.

Spiritual getaways -Mix faith and fun this..

1 Harihareshwar, 230 kms away
How to get there: The State transport buses are avoidable. Drive down via Panvel-Mangaon-Goregaon Phata on the Mumbai-Goa Highway (5 hours)
Of course, you want to be in Goa, your tousled hair flying carelessly in the briny air, like Dia Mirza’s on the IFFI coverage on national television. But you are not a filmstar. Thank God! And you are not in Goa.
Thank God again! It’s the craziest time to be there, with everyone, from toothpaste tube cap fitters from London (yes, they can afford to be there, thanks to the power of the pound) to high-on-beer-and-abandon-uncles, pouring in by the jeep load.
If you are a beach bum, you can satiate your seafood, surf and sand triangle of desire at the twin towns of Shrivardhan and Harihareshwar. Fringed by thick woods, the beach here is clear to laze on before you head off to a khanawal to dig in to some fried Mushi (local fish).
The ethereal experience of visiting the Harihareshwar temple, is a good enough reason to tear yourself away from the beach. Unlike other shrines, the parikrama at this Shivling-like structure that rises from the ocean, is meant to be taken outside, around the temple, on a rocky trail by the sea.
Look out for discreet steps that lead you right into the mouth of the ocean, from where you can watch the sun glide into oblivion.
2 Lord Venkateswara Temple, Pune, 200 kms away
How to get there: Take the Expressway to Pune, and then go down the highway on Sinhagad Road. A huge billboard on your left will direct you towards the complex (4 hours from South Mumbai)
The Balaji temple near Pune is a replica of the world famous Tirumala Tirupati Balaji Temple in Andhra Pradesh, and makes for a great day trip from Pune. Spread across 10 acres, the complex includes several smaller shrines, one of them dedicated to Lord of wealth, Kuber. And that’s where you’ll find the longest queue. Don’t bother taking any flowers or incense along. All the Lord needs is money, and for a reason.
Balaji dared to beget a second wife despite being married to Mahalakshmi. Furious, she asked for alimony. He had to borrow money from the treasurer of the world, Kuber. Since then, he’s trying to repay the debt.
He struck a deal with devotees: You offer me money, and I will fulfill your wishes, which explains the stainless steel postbox-like hundis, scattered around to hold monetary offerings.
A systematic but meandering queue system leads men and women separately to the shrine. Expect to spend at least two hours before you reach an open courtyard that takes you to the garbha griha where Lord Balaji’s bedecked idol stands.
You can offer your hair in case you have a mannat, at a centre that houses a series of busy barbers. The temple is open all day, with a series of pujas being held at frequent intervals.
Back in Pune, you can spend the evening ambling along leafy lanes with maroon robe-clad soul searchers, around the Osho Commune at Koregaon Park, or the Osho Zen Garden (open from 6 am to 9 am and 4 pm to 7 pm). The bakery products at German Bakery here, are to die for.
Arthur’s Theme is great place for French food (try the Lemon Soufflé and Chicken in Cranberry Sauce), while Malacca Spice brings you delicious curries from South East Asia (have them with Kori Rotis).
3 Ganpatipule, 375 kms away
How to get there: It’s 30 kms off the Mumbai-Goa Highway, 50 kms short of Ratnagiri. You can take an overnight MTDC bus from Nariman Point or catch a Konkan Railway train from CST. Get off at Sangameshwar or Ratnagiri; take a bus to Ganpatipule.
This place has one of the most idyllic beaches fringed by palm fronds . And if you think lolling on the beach is a waste of time, try your hand at paragliding. The drive to here is as beautiful as the destination.
As you wind through the Western Ghats, a chain of mountains along the Konkan coast. lighthouses dot the area, marking ruins of forts built during Maratha king, Chhatrapati Shivaji’s reign.
The Ganpati Swayambhu temple houses a 400 year-old Ganpati idol that’s believed to have sprung from the soil.

Monster House

Here’s looking at you
Monster House * * * * * Dir: Gil KenanCast: Mitchel Musso, Steve Buscemi (voices)
vijay pawarmailto:pawarbunty_kores@yahoo.coWhat’s it about? It’s Halloween time. 12-year-old DJ’s (Musso) parents go off for a dental convention leaving him in the care of babysitter from hell, Zee (Maggie Gyllenhaal). His only friend is a chubby goofball named Chowder (Sam Lerner). His only pastime is keeping a tab on Old Man Nebbercracker (Buscemi) through his trusty telescope.
Nebbercracker hates kids and any other species that dares to step on his beloved lawn. Now, Old Man Nebbercracker is something of a mystery himself, never leaving the house except to scare off persistent kids. Nebbercracker used to have a wife. Rumour is, he fattened her and ate her up. The old man suffers a heart attack and is taken away in an ambulance.
This is when Nebbercracker’s house comes alive, gobbling anything that ventures onto the lawn. DJ and Chowder are witness to the house’s devourings — a dog and Zee’s boyfriend, Bones. A snobby devil-may-care Westbrook Prep student, Jenny (Spencer Locke) walks up to the house and is promptly saved by DJ and Chowder. DJ decides to take on the house with the help of Chowder and Jenny, armed only with water pistols filled with cough syrup. He thinks it’ll be enough to put the house to sleep.
But the deeper they go, the clearer the truth becomes. Nebbercracker’s dead wife, Constance (Kathleen Turner) is the house. And it’s going to take more than cough syrup to save the neighbourhood.
What’s goodIt was quite something growing up in sleepy suburbs in the 1980s. So what if we never went trick-or-treatin’? It sure was fun back then. The couch wasn’t the be-all and end-all of our existence. We found time to go play games with friends. Venture into empty houses that were supposedly haunted. And who can forget that first crush? That first kiss? It’s quite easy to imagine yourself as DJ. We had pretty much everything kids in the US had, so what if it came to us a year or two later.
That’s what works for Monster House: the familiarity of it all. We’ve all been down that road. Let our imaginations run wild. We’ve had people mock our alien theories, our haunted house stories that seemed good enough only to recant around campfires and so on.
This film uses 3-D motion capture techniques, lending it a feel of the real. Some stars who have lent their voices to characters will be immediately recognised. The dialogues are simple, believable and very, very funny.
What’s bad?Not much, really. The devoured characters coming out of the house during the end credits is a tad too unbelievable. Reports indicate that the film had to incorporate that scene to get a U rating.
What’s that? I’m sure someone other than DJ would see a house come alive. Surely someone would see the house go on a rampage, tearing down everything in its path.
Even when the house is blown up, there’s not so much as an eyebrow raised. However small a town, this wouldn’t go unnoticed. Surely someone at the hospital would notice Nebbercracker come back to his house. It doesn’t happen.
What to do?Remember the 1980s? If you do, you’ll feel right at home, watching this Robert Zemeckis/Steven Spielberg production. Directed by first-timer Gil Kenan, Monster House is a film you should watch with your kids (or the neighbourhood kids, if you please) for the pure joy of revisiting your childhood.
Who doesn’t miss those wonder years? I know I do. Here’s something no other animated feature made this year offers. No talking animals. No hyperactive cars. Just a horror story that kids and adults will love.

Who's answering their calls?

Ravi Kissen
Calls answered by: Preeti Kissen (wife)
Call registry: He gets nearly 50 phone calls everyday!
Work wise: Even though people know that he is locked up in Bigg Boss’s house, they still call to check on him. His producers keep calling to let me know about his projects. Of late, I’ve been answering a lot of calls from fans who want to give him their good wishes.

Who's answering their calls?

Carol Gracias
Her number has been switched off.

Who's answering their calls?

Deepak Tijori
Calls answered by: A voicemail states that he will be out of town for a while. He has left instructions to call his office number or his assistant Addy.

Who's answering their calls?

Rupali Ganguly
Calls answered by: Initially Rajni (her mother), but the number is now switched off.
Call registry: Around 5 to 10 calls.
Work wise: Rajni says, “Rupali uses two phones, but I have switched them off. What will I do after talking to producers who want to work with her? I had taken the phones with me to the set when she was nominated for eviction. Whoever wants to work with her calls on the landline since they know I am at home.”

Bad‘show’ Khan!

Sources in the industry affirm that the cold war between Shah Rukh Khan and Amitabh Bachchan has intensified after Khan snatched Kaun Banega Crorepati 3 right from under the Big B’s nose. The battle lines have been quietly but irrevocably drawn. Even their cliques are now clearly defined.
Icy vibes
If Amitabh Bachchan has firmly aligned himself with Samajwadi Party leader Amar Singh and Anil Ambani, Shah Rukh makes his political and social affiliations equally evident by hobnobbing with Sonia Gandhi and her family and attending Nita Mukesh Ambani’s birthday party.
The tension between the two sides has been cleverly concealed until now, but the cracks were obvious at Sikander Kher’s (Anupam and Kirron Kher’s son) birthday party last month. The vibes between the Bachchan clan (represented by Jaya, Amitabh, Abhishek and Aishwarya Rai) and Shah Rukh Khan were I-C-Y.
Reveals a source present at the do, “The party was in full swing until SRK walked in at 2 am. He went up to Mr Bachchan and greeted him. Mr Bachchan is always polite, so he greeted SRK cordially. But the rest of the Bachchan parivar looked through him. Even though Jayaji is very fond of Shah Rukh, none of them can overlook what he’s been doing to Mr Bachchan.”
‘Ash’es to dust
The source adds that the Bachchans, along with Ash and a few friends, were seated at one table and Shah Rukh took the table directly opposite them. “After greeting each other and exchanging formal hellos, it was evident that Bachchan and Khan wanted to their own space. Throughout the night, not a single word was exchanged between the camps. In fact, SRK wanted to strike up a conversation with Ash but since she was stuck to Abhishek’s side, it became impossible.”
It may be recalled that Aishwarya still has to forgive Shah Rukh for unceremoniously ousting her from his home production, Chalte Chalte, replacing her with Rani Mukerji. SRK reportedly showed her the door after her then boyfriend Salman Khan wreaked havoc on the sets.
And now with SRK’s doing KBC3 — which was AB’s property until now — Khan has made matters worse. It is learnt that Amitabh is quite miffed with Star and their attitude during his illness. A source says, “Mr Bachchan was literally told to come back to work after his illness and shoot some episodes. He put his foot down and refused. Things started going downhill from that point onwards.”
SRK’s announcement hasn’t come as a surprise to anyone. An insider reveals, “Samir Nair has been wanting to get Shah Rukh onboard for quite some time. This reached Amitabh’s ears even before a formal announcement was made.”
Putting up an act
Says a source known to the Bachchans, “All this talk about Mr Bachchan not being interested in doing KBC3 is hogwash. He had almost committed to doing it when SRK lobbied hard and pipped him to the post. He’s deeply hurt at the way SRK has gone about the whole thing but prefers not to talk about it.”
As has always been the case, the hostilities will remain shrouded behind a wall of fake civility from both sides. The warring factions continue to deny problems and address each other respectfully in public.
A filmmaker on the condition of anonymity says, “There is definitely a war brewing between SRK and the Bachchans, but no star, producer or director likes to wash their dirty linen in public. When there is a problem, they will sort it out between themselves.”
Neither Amitabh Bachchan nor Sameer Nair of Star returned our SMSes to comment on the story.

Raj Thackeray: "Mee more fun"

Civic polls are coming up in March 2007. Which is why all political parties are gunning for the youth. The battle is especially fierce - and visible - outside Chetana college in Bandra (E). 'Bal Thackeray neighbourhood.' And here's a novel strategy. From the party which "seeks to project itself as a political force suited to the new era". Raj Thackeray's 'Maharashtra Navnirman Sena' has put up little hoardings all over Mumbai advertising Ball Dance - "1st ever inter-collegiate event full of zeal and zest". The picture shows a boy and a girl, in Western outfits, holding each other and... dancing, in ye olde English ballroom dance style.Ah, just what the youth of the country needs. And so "new era". You see, it is Western, without being vulgar. Which makes the MNS 'different' from the violently-opposed-to-Valentine's-Day Shiv Sena and ABVP types. A second hoarding clarifies that the competition is actually about dance AND cricket. 'Ball' + 'Dance' - so clever no, wink wink. Never mind issues - jobs, education, housing and all that jazz. Woh to sabhi politician log bolte hain. Kuch karte nahin. The youth is cynical. Unconvinced by promises, unmoved by rhetoric. So Raj Thackeray is probably being smart in seeking to project his party as 'the fun guys'.No, this not how it should be. But this is how it is... What next? A kabaddi and karaoke competition by the rival camp?

Why D schools are the future

There is a never ending stream of news about Bschools. For a change, Businessweek.com turns the spotlight on the world's top Dschools ie institutes which teach design.Although the schools listed are predominantly American, there is healthy international representation. Among institutes of repute from England, Netherlands, Germany, Italy and China, India too gets two well deserved mentions - NID and IDC. Both deserve to be right up there because they are amazing institutions which have produced some outstanding graduates. I only wish there were more like them! Because there is a huge difference between 'design' and 'art'. In India, we often confuse the two. Those who study commercial art are basically trained to work in advertising/ media. So they produce campaigns, make artworks, learn typography/ photography/ illustration. Yes, they are talented and creative. But within a given framework.Design graduates, on the other hand, approach their work differently. A few years ago, two NID students worked on a project to redesign JAM magazine. For them, the issue was not about tweaking the logo, changing the template and a few fonts. They looked at the magazine at a more fundamental level. From the customer's point of view.Of course, not all their suggestions could be implemented. But the thinking that went behind the re-design they attempted was remarkable.The point I am making is that even as b schools proliferate, the need of the hour is D schools. As customers become more demanding, and constantly seek something new and exciting, the importance of product design cannot be over emphasised.Take the ipod - it's not just a pretty gadget. The clickwheel is a fundamental design choice, one which defines the brand. No, a design genius at Apple did not invent it - someone at a company called Synaptics working for Apple did. But, you get the idea. Design is mega important. And good design is not just about looks. That's styling. Great design is good looking and provides a better user experience.Well, the corporate world is realising that the design and business functions need to collaborate at an early stage of the product development cycle. One fallout of this is increased interaction between bschools and dschools. A course called Strategy for Product and Service Development has been introduced at INSEAD in collaboration with design students from the Art Center in Pasadena . As INSEAD graduate Sameer Agrawal, who now works with GE, recalls At the start of the class we had to decide what to work on. Each of us had a minute to pitch an idea to develop. You could see the difference. MBA pitches dwelt on the market: how big it was, how little it had been served. Most designers said: "Here is how I use the product today. Here is why it sucks and how it can be better. Here's how I want to do it.His perception of designers was: "Here's my product, make it look sexy". Now, he sees see design as "a philosophy that people learn in order to understand how products are used..."Similarly, Mozilla was searching for a way to make Firefox more popular. The company's 's business development team turned to Stanford University. Not to the bschool but Hasso Plattner Institute of Design on the campus.The course was team-taught by Stanford profs and industry professionals. Each student worked in a team that included a B-schooler, a computer science major, and a product designer. And each team used design thinking to shape a business plan for Mozilla. Apparently, it made a big difference.A B-school class would have started with a focus on market size and used financial analysis to understand it. This D-school class began with consumers and used ethnography, the latest management tool, to learn about them. Business school students would have developed a single new product to sell. The D-schoolers aimed at creating a prototype with possible features that might appeal to consumers. B-school students would have stopped when they completed the first good product idea. The D-schoolers went back again and again to come up with a panoply of possible winners.Businessweek notes that the power of this new approach, called design thinking, to promote innovation and open up business opportunities is attracting the attention of corporations around the globe. Design has evolved from a narrow discipline dealing with the form and function of products into a major new approach to developing business models. As business increasingly turns to India and China to provide low-cost, high-quality goods and services, companies have to focus on innovation to be competitive. That driving need makes design thinking the hottest trend in business culture today. If engineering, control, and technology were once the central tenets of business culture, then anthropology, creativity, and an obsession with consumers' unmet needs will inform the future.The bottom line is, India needs more D schools. A great D school is multi disciplinary - combining engineering, business, design, and social sciences. And hence IITs are ideally placed to house design schools on campus. But while we've seen Schools of Management spring up at all IIT campuses, design has flourished only at IIT B. IIT Guwahati is the only other IIT with a design school, others have been contemplated starting one but not taken the plunge. Then there are recent institutes such as Srishti School of Art and Design in Bangalore. But the school, although well reputed, is not considered in the NID/ IDC league.Although industry does flock to NID and IDC, for some reason, the contribution of these graduates remains underhyped. Bet you can name a dozen IIT or IIM grads but only a couple from NID - if at all. And none from IDC. Is it lack of PR, or humility. Or a potent combo of both? Maybe we'll wake up when some foreign company swoops down on NID and offers a $100,000 salary. Actually, salaries are going up... but unfortunately the idea of design as a career will never really catch the fancy of the media. Or the general public.That's because unlike the MBA - you need to possess something tangible for a design education. That something rare and elusive called 'Talent'.

Mind it, teacher!

"I hate Hindi ma'am... " is the new refrain at our dinner table. "She pinches... and hits," says my daughter. Everyone? "Yes, but she hits me more. Because she gives a lot of work and I can't complete it in one period".For a day or two I thought it was one of those things... it would pass. But today, Nivedita declared she would rather change her school than attend Hindi period with this ma'am. I really will have to do something. But what? Yes, I will go and meet the principal but will he really take action? There's always the secret fear that your child will end up being treated worse after you complain.People talk about bad bosses, but there is nothing quite as cruel as a bad teacher. The power a teacher has over a young mind is immense. And this power is often abused by those who are not temperamentally or attitudinally suited to the job.Teachers who, in fact, see their jobs as mere jobs. And not a responsibility which comes with some sacred covenants.And parents, who leave no stone unturned to admit their child to a good school. The 'best' school. Who's to say that every teacher in that school is competent as well as sensitive? Because all it takes is one Hindi ma'am...And all said and done, parents are in a weak position. We pay for the services of a school, we form part of the community. But in most schools, we have little say in the way things are done. Or not done.The attitude is,"If you have problems here, feel free to take your child elsewhere." Because there are enough contenders for that forsaken seat. And the same problems pretty much plague schools everywhere. Not municipal schools or government schools but private schools, brand name schools as well.The Hindi ma'am problem started when the original Hindi teacher - a very personable lady - suddenly quit to join a rival school. In mid-session. Since then there have been 3 different teachers, creating anxiety and confusion.As one teacher elaborates,"Schools don't want to hire us on a permanent basis. They take in teachers on contract - for 3 months, 6 months." So teachers too have no qualms hopping around. And often, no choice either.In this merry-go-round, secondary school teachers end up teaching primary kids. Both kinds of teaching require different skills. And completely different levels of patience.When the school is charging parents a fairly large fee, I see no reason why it should shortchange it teachers - and students - in this manner.If things do not change, I am wholly willing to yank my daughter out of this school. The question is, are the other choices any different? I guess that is a question that can be answered only after a great deal of R & D. If the answer remains "no", then the only consolation is "we survived". So will she. It makes me really sad. And mad. But do I have the energy to fight it?

Youth brand universe

John Abraham is sitting in a cafe. He puts on a pair of sunglasses. A girl pulls up her chair and sits behind him. Then another, and another. John tilts to the left; the girls tilt too. Then to the right, and so do the girls.He grins and pulls off his glares. It's an ad for Fastracks' new 'biker collection'. And they pull it off without showing a single bike, which I think is tres cool. Because that would be the obvious thing to do!What's more, your 'biker' collection now reaches out to a much larger group of people. The message is, you don't have to be a biker, but wear these glares and girls will think you are! Now of course, whether the glasses sell or not depends on many other factors - designs, pricing, accessibility. But the advertising is just right. A worthy follow up to the original Titan Fastrack watches ad which was quite a hit.It's also interesting because this is more of a 'brand building' kind of effort - even though it uses a Bollywood star. An effort that a number of companies seem to have simply given up on. What we see generally see is :a) celebrity driven advertisingb) product-benefit driven advertisingIn category 1, lame attempts are made to be 'creative' with the same set of stars. The latest ad with the overused Abhishek Bachchan, for example is 'American Express'. The Big Idea is AB jr being referred to as 'Big B' because he now has an Amex card ('membership changes everything'). There's not much to be said about that idea, or the small Big B's acting - in the commercial. Perhaps it works anyways, at least in terms of making the Amex profile in India more 'youthful'.But it's not good advertising.In category 2, one of the lamest ads on TV right now is Stayfree 'drymax'. I mean, sure, you want users of 'Whisper' to sit up and take notice that there is a better sanitary napkin. But who leaves a Stayfree on a table, so that water is accidentally spilled... And the napkin miraculously soaks it all up! Do users really need a product demo? I just don't think you build a brand in a sensitive category in this very in-your-face way. Aside: My 7 year old thinks it's a 'diaper for adults'... Yes, I have given her the explanation, but!Lastly, we have the 'let me bribe you into buying my brand' variety of advertising. Chlormint, which tried valiantly to be cheeky and cool with its advertising (but did not quite succeed) is going that way."Buy a Chlormint and sms the code to 8558. You can win Rs 1 lakh a day and a Nokia phone every hour".The irony is that the sms will cost more than the Chlormint... which sells for all of 50 paise (ie 1 cent!). It's clear that some brand manager has done complicated calculations to arrive at a winning formula.My back of the envelope estimate: 30 crore Chlormints being sold with this offer over 2 months. That means around 50 lakh Chlormints a day. At a conservative estimate 3-5% of users will send an sms. Which would work out, on an average to 2 lakh smses.The cost of sending the sms varies from Rs 1 to Rs 3 (Airtel users are getting fleeced the most!)Of that Chlormint is likely to be getting a revenue share of 40-50%. Which means the Rs 1 lakh a day giveaway pays back for itself - at the very least. If the amount of smses or % of people who sms is greater, then sone pe suhaaga. Thoda advertising cost bhi cover ho jayega. It sounds like a lottery scheme to me, which could possibly get Chlormint into trounle. Because as far as I know, in India, only the government is allowed to conduct lotteries (yes, that's terribly weird and rather unethical but we'll get into that another day). Besides, I see one GIANT loophole in the Chlormint scheme. The lucky number is printed outside the wrapper. I bet smart paanwallahs and kirana store owners around the country will be busy smsing all the numbers on all the Chlormints they have in stock. The smartest ones would be smsing from Reliance CDMA, which costs only 15 paise!And finally, what happens when the promo is over? Coz efforts of this kind don't have a lasting effect. So you're back to thinking of more promos. When you should be thinking about creating products people want to buy. And brands, which stand for something.

Film Review: 'A Good Year' gets 2.5 stars

If wishes were eccentric uncles, bankers would make wine. That, in a nutshell, is the one line plot summary of Ridley Scott's 'A Good Year'. So you don't have to fear spoiling your movie experience by reading this review. From the moment MaX Skinner, investment banker of low scruples and greed extraordinaire, inherits the French chateau inhabited by a once-dear uncle, you know.Sod is gonna fall in love with the estate, with the idea of living the 'simple life', with France, and possibly a French girl. All of the above happen in due course, so all I can offer you is an opinion on whether it holds your interest.The answer is yes, but not wholly, or in full measure. You don't come out of the theatre feeling either entertained or highly elevated. The problem is it's too predictable, and full of stereotypes.Take Max Skinner. A bigger caricature of an investment banker I have scarcely seen. The guy walks into the dealing room, declares 'today is greedy bastard day' and proceeds to make a trade which is borderline illegal. The guy has no friends, no family, no love life, no other interests except making money. I mean, sure, there might be some people as weird as him out there but there's hardly a moment when you feel anything for this character. And it's not clear why he is the way he is. Except for the fact that his parents died young and his only relative in the world was his old uncle. The moment our man steps into the chateau he is flooded by memories of summers spent as a boy with his uncle. And yet, he did not call or meet the man for the last ten years before he died. "Because I turned into an arsehole". Truth is, he's not all that lovable - even as a kid, in flashback.Anyhow, Max makes a trip to the chateau to assess how much he could sell it for. Thanks to a series of circumstances, including being stranded at the bottom of an empty swimming pool, he ends up staying a week. And you know.. the wine, weather and women factor works on him. There is a slight complication when 'Christy Roberts', Henry's illegitimate American daughter also shows up. But there are no villains in the piece - not even Monseuir et Mme Duflot who I truly thought were cheating the Skinners by bottling inferior wine under the Chateau Sauvignon label. Never mind - if u see the movie, you'll understand.And hey, you can see the film simply for:- The gorgeous French countryside- The gorgeous French girl Skinner falls for (Marion Cotillard)- The glimpse of life in France which truly seems kinder, gentler and as full of sparkle as their wine.The scene where the housekeeper Mmm Duflot does a li'l jig as she cleans the kitchen, the open air cafe where Max and his girl go on their first date, and the restaurant she runs for a living - all of them make you want to cash out your Provident fund and queue up for an immigrant visa to France.Alas, the many stupidities of the film bring you back to earth whenever you get slightly intoxicated. Russell Crowe looks old, overweight and unshaven. His secretary "Jemma" aka Jasminder who hogs a fair bit of screen time, is horrendous. You'll be able to tell from the moment she opens her mouth "Oh, she's Indian". The vaguely familiar actress is 'Archie Panjabi' - best known as the sister in 'Bend it like Beckham'.Speaking of weird names, could the makers of the film find no better nom de film for the French girlfriend than 'Fanny Chanel'?? I mean, really, that's the sort of thing you expect from James Bond... Net: net, you can watch 'A Good Year', but you don't have to. Especially if you're on the right side of 25. For the yuppie types, 'A Good Year' is not compelling but neither is it dangerous. You won't be inspired to run off and settle down on a farm in Satara anytime soon. Given real estate prices in Mumbai right now, my 'kindly old uncle kicks the bucket' fantasy involves a 2000 sq ft 'chateau' in Le Malabar Hill... Sadly, no such uncles!

The Value of Liberal Arts

Business Standard asks K V Kamath, CEO & MD, ICICI Bank : Do you lack in any particular quality?Kamath replies (after a long pause): I am probably too technical a person. By training I am an engineer and also did my MBA but I never had an exposure to liberal arts. I wonder sometime that if I had an exposure to liberal arts, probably I could have been a better person, better leader and achieved a little more than what I have (done). Early in my career I used to feel that technical education is the best education but after 35 years of working I like to admit that I stand corrected. Kamath was recently named BS 'Banker of the Year' and is widely credited with taking ICICI to new heights. So I'm not sure what 'more' he would or could have achieved. But I agree with his point on liberal arts. More of us should get that kind of 'broad based' education which does not necessarily lead to anything. At least, not directly.I for one wish I had majored in English literature. Nope, I opted for Economics, the 'almost-a-science'. That's because switching to Arts after being the school topper type was itself a big thing. And in the end I chickened out of a lit major, accepting the argument that 'literature is something you can always pursue on your own'. In that you can read books on your own.Unfortunately, you never read those kind of books. Or in that kind of way. It did seem pointless - at the time - writing 3 foolscap sheets on what the motivations and mental state of fictional characters. What a particular novel, or poet was trying to say about the social conditions prevailing in the 18th or 19th century.But, it was interesting. It made you think, and look for answers. Hidden meanings which may or may not have originally been there. I guess I was also lucky in that we had some amazing teachers at Sophia College. Ms Colaco and Mrs Stevens, in particular, stretched our minds far beyond the syllabus. In the second year, they covered several works which were not prescribed. Simply because, without that exposure, we would not truly understand 'modern literature'.Now I can't say that I have, till date, 'understood' T S Eliot's Wasteland. Or Waiting for Godot. But, I am glad I was exposed to those thoughts and ideas. Similarly, the one year I spent in America as a senior in high school entailed a course in American literature. It was a requirement for graduation, so I had no choice. But I would have taken it, if I had one. John Steinbeck, Willa Cather and most of all The Great Gatsby. Just some of what I remember... Also the play Our Town by Thornton Wilder, which is an American classic, but unheard of in our part of the world. Anyhow, liberal arts is not just literature. It's history, philosophy, sociology, psychology, political science. I find that in India, even Arts has a 'caste system'. The 'Eco' student will take a combination like Eco-Stats-Pol Science or Eco-Stats-Socio. In many cases, that's what the college offers - you have no choice. The 'soft' subjects are in a separate category and generally the two are not mixed up.However, at Sophia, they actually forced you to opt for a mix. So if you wanted Eco and Stats you would have to choose one subject from the 'other group' - "English lit, French lit, History or Philosophy'. I think, partly, it was so that those departments.. would not become extinct. But whatever the reason, I am very glad!Getting back to K V Kamath's statement, sadly, the class profile at bs schools is getting skewed more and more away from Arts. IIMA's class of 2006 had only 3% Arts students. And I bet almost all of them would be Economics graduates. It's a similar story, practically everywhere. I know, it's the old 'engineers fare better at CAT' argument. The point is most intelligent young people in India still opt for technical education at the class 12 stage itself. So changing the exam is not the answer.What we need is liberal arts colleges which set standards of excellence which attract the brightest and the best. One Stephen's, an LSR and a Xavier's here and there is not enough. National Law School is a case in point. Because it exists, it attracts a breed of students who would otherwise never have considered taking up law!Lastly, if you plan to enter the media, a good liberal arts education is worth a lot more than a Bachelors in Mass Media. Journalism or film making are not subjects to study in a class. The projects you guys do by cutting and pasting from google are of no value.Focus is not everything in life. As Prof Robert Allen notes "A liberal arts degree gives students general skills to go on to become lifelong learners... They pick up what they need along the way." Another article on the subject notes: The best education for an unpredictable future provides the capacity and the tools to gather, interpret, challenge, and create knowledge; to combine ideas in new ways; and to communicate effectively.A tall order? Yes. But that's exactly what liberal arts can provide a student. This type of education is called liberal arts, because it liberates the mind. The "liberal" comes from the Latin, liber, meaning free--free from ignorance and intolerance and cultural isolation.Of course, their definition of liberal arts includes music, art and even the natural sciences (physics, chemistry, biology). What we refer to as "Science" and is again, in India, considered far inferior to Engineering.The bottomline is: Grounding in the liberal arts offers a window on history, culture, and human beings, on methods of intellectual inquiry, that transcends any particular subject, problem, moment in time, or job. Sounds like what I would want from an education!

Shit - 1

A month ago, somebody asked me what story I was working on.I told her.'Manual? What?""Manual scavenging.""What's that?""It's when people lift other people's shit. Real, literal shit, not the metaphorical kind."She shook her head. "Really? So where will you be traveling?""Different places. But I will start will Delhi."Her husband shook his head. "Delhi? This doesn't happen in Delhi."He refused to believe it. "It can't be... maybe in villages where people are backward."I don't blame him. We all think we're so progressive and this sort of thing doesn't happen in India. Not in the cities. Possibly, in the villages, where people don't know any better.That is what we want to believe. That is what we cannot bear not to believe. That is, nevertheless, the truth. It is illegal. It is unfair. But it is the truth.Yet, I understand the reluctance to accept it. I find it hard to speak about it. And naturally, even those who must do this ultimate-in-filthy-jobs are reluctant to talk.In Delhi, in Shahdara, I met the women whom you could call, in polite terms, manual scavengers. In Panipat, in Haryana, I met some more. In Punjab, in Samral, yet more.... when we talked about it, we referred to manual scavening as "ye kaam" or "kacchi khuddiyo.n ka kaam" (work of the dry laterines).They're usually neat, polite smiling women. Women who scoop up human excreta with a piece of tin and a rough broom and put it in bamboo baskets which they must carry away. On their shoulders. On their hips. On their heads.Which is why many a government document mentions the term 'headloading'. Some government officials have even been insensitive enough to counter dalit activists' accusations of the continuing of the practice of headloading by saying that "they don't carry it on their heads; only their hips."It is hard to come to terms with it, is it not? That there are a few thousand, tens of thousand, a few lakh people who must lift other people's excreta to be able to survive. That we immediately take to technology via mobile phones and CD players, the moment we can afford it, but we will not invest a few thousand rupees to build new toilets, to buy better sanitation, to hire consultants to think about what can be done towards better sewage systems.To think that we let it happen - that nobody takes out processions in protest, that no bandhs are called in the capital, that nobody ostracises anybody in your city who employs another human being (at the rate of Rs 20 a month, and the occassional roti) to lift and carry your shit.These are not nice things to think about. And I don't blame anybody for not wanting to think about them. But think, all the same.
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Shit -2

Every morning, the women get up and leave their own homes, to go to the homes of people whose excreta they will shortly handle. Some go at 4 am, or 6 am, or 7 am. It all depends on how many homes they have to clean.Nowadays, there aren't that many. But there are enough to keep an estimated 12 lakh people involved in this shit-handling business.No gloves, no face-masks. No disinfectant, and often, no water to bathe with, afterwards.90 % of the time, it is women who do this. Sometimes, they even profess a deep sympathy with their employers, because they understand that women, at least, must have 'a place to go'. Where public flush toilets are not available, it is but natural that dry laterines will persist.This, I did not understand.When I pointed out to the scavenger women that these poor women, whose shit they were going to carry, were often loaded with gold jewelry, and that the government anyway gives huge subsidies for the construction of new toilets, they fell silent. They had never thought about that. Nobody had ever taught them to think like that.So, I prodded - why do they do it?Because, they said, they didn't know how to do anything else. They were never sent to school. Their brothers were sent, often. But they were not. Or, if they were, they were withdrawn after class 3, or 4 or 5.And what do their men do?Some men do the same task. They are more often assigned to community dry laterines, where - because of much larger volumes of shit - they use wheelbarrows to transport the stuff. Sometimes, they get the women to do the actual cleaning of the laterine and only do the transportation themselves. Many more men tackle the sewers.Many toilets - even though they are pour-flush/wet laterines - are built on top of a septic tank. Once every few years, people need this tank cleaned. Once, every few years, the male scavengers will go down into this sewer, wearing only their lungis or their underwear, with a bucket and a stick. That's all.Some die. All that trapped sewage makes for noxious gases. Open the manhole and, if you don't watch out, the posionous gases knock you out. Once unconscious, if you fall in, you're as good as dead. If you don't fall in, you could be very seriously sick.Each life-threatening cleaning job will only cost Rs 500-600. It is done mostly at night. Because, in the daytime, the open tank will stink and the house-owners don't want the smell. Also, because the law stipulates that - if such tanks must be cleaned, the worker be provided with proper equipment, and that oxygen masks be handy. Of course, there is no oxygen mask. Of course, there is no protective gear.But such jobs don't come by every day. In Nand Nagri, I was told that one man only gets to clean a septic tank maybe once in two-three months. The household is run by women, the rest of the time.These women are not always brought up cleaning shit. Some, like Meena, went to school. She, clearly, did not enjoy lifting shit.Why did she do it?Because she didn't have a choice.If their mothers don't induct them into scavenging, their mothers-in-law do. Or their husbands do. If their husbands are also scavengers, they will often work together. For instance, the man, using a stick, will un-clog the gutter into which the shit is flushed. The woman will pick it up and carry it in baskets.The filthiest task is left to the woman, wherever possible.Why?Because, like I've said here, manual scavenging is about caste, about gender, about oppression.In the caste order, it is not the sudra, but the sudra woman who is at the bottom of the heap. And you oppress those you can oppress, because they're at the bottom of the heap. Those who have been conditioned into thinking that this is their lot, and this is their duty. Those who think they cannot escape, for they have nowhere else to go. Those on whom you can collectively gang up, and whom you can accuse of breaking a social code, should they try to escape. Those whom you can beat the shit out of, because everybody else does it, and has been doing it for centuries.
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Shit - 3

Most of us, let's face it, do not think about things that do not concern us. We say, or at least, think - "What's it to me?" or "Not my problem" or "Hame kya? Hamara kya jaata jaata?"Most of us look the other way. I don't pretend to be very different. Things that absorb my time, attention, capacity for outrage, are usually things that I see, feel, fear. Things that resonate with me because, in some form, however briefly, I've experienced them.Manual scavenging, as a problem, as an outrage, resonated with me because, although I have never had to pick up anybody's shit, I know what it feels like to step into it.My real association with this story, thus, begins four years ago...I was a very young reporter working for Mid-day, and had to be out on the 'field' most of the day. As all women reporters know, one of the biggest problems with being on the field is toilets. Or, the lack of them.This is not just because of our anatomy, or because of a special need for privacy. This is also because women's toilets - by and large - are non-existent. Especially in cities.For instance, there are stalls for men - operational urinals, some of which even have running water... the luxury! - at almost all railways stations in Bombay. Not so for women. The few urinals that do exist are often locked - yes, padlocked, for god's sake! - with no attendant in sight. (I once asked why, and was told that this is because 'unsuitable' activities happen inside the women's loos. Go figure.)Some women's toilets are used as a dumping ground - concrete and rubble from some railway construction project - or as store-rooms (have seen bags of cement stored inside). The logic being that 'women don't like to go here, anyway'. And some are simply abandoned.One day, at a station on the western line - somewhere between Andheri and Dadar - I actually managed to find a women's loo that was not locked. And made the mistake of stepping inside the darkened enclosure. My foot squelched and sank into something soft. It took a couple of seconds to register what the mess was - it was about two inches of shit. Human shit all over the floor. I withdrew the foot and stepped back outside. Suddenly, it seemed as if the world had turned dark. As if the station was empty. There was just me, and my outrage. And the overwhelming humiliation. I didn't recognize the feeling, immediately. At that time, I burst into tears. It took a week to recover, a week before I could stop my mind from going back to that moment of shock and bursting into tears all over again, before I stopped feeling like I needed a million baths.But now, I clearly recognize that feeling - it was humiliation.When I discovered that there are people in this country who must handle shit for a living, the humiliation returned. The outrage returned too. If one accidental brush with a clogged toilet could make me so miserable, could reduce me to tears - how must they be feeling? What does it do to you - psychologically, emotionally - to have to do it, day after day?If I cannot forget that one accidental day, how do they live - constantly struggling to forget? Why should they not live in denial? Why should anyone expect that, one fine day, they will rise up, revolt and throw away their brooms, because we tell them to?I know that if I had to do their work for even one week, I would be destroyed. My spirit would die. What right have I to expect that their spirit, their sense of dignity, their sense of self, will be intact? Intact enough to make them stop doing their work, without a moment's thought?No wonder, the one effective bargaining tool activists have is the word 'children'. Your children... do you want them to go on living like this? And it always prompts a response - 'No. Not our children'. For the children's sake, they will throw a lifetime of humiliation away, throw away this livelihood, break down the structures that lead to this humiliation.And no wonder, public sanitation IS an issue with me. It IS personal. It IS a part of my politics. That day, four years ago, at a suburban railway station in Bombay, it ceased to be somebody else's problem.
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Music and the minar

The Qutub Festival is back!This is one of my favourite music festivals because it is the only venue where you can lie on the grass, look at the stars against the lit-up shadow of the Qutub Minar, hear the rising strains of somebody's voice, a tabla, a sitar, a guitar... wander off for some hot chaat or halwa or chai, and have the music call you back to its feet.The festival organisers also claim that it is dedicated to the youth of Delhi, which is why there is always one popular fusion band each evening, to go with the classical performance.This year, there are Pt Debu and Prateek Chaudhuri, this Saturday, along with Euphoria (of dhoom pichak dhoom fame).On Sunday, there are the Nizami brothers, the Qawwals, and Shankar-Ehsan-Loy (of Dil Chahta Hai fame)Now, I'm happy.
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Aggression, nights, news reports

Aggression has a purpose.Something deeper and more instinctive that most of us understand, but which most of us experience only when we allow it expression, through our eyes, our posture, our tone.Aggression needs to be restrained. But it also needs to show itself, like a flash in the dark, like a sudden snarl, like the hard assertion of its potential.This, I have learnt after being involved with the Blank Noise interventions over the last month.For instance, I learnt to look. To stand in a crowded public space and look. Not to smile, not to shuffle my feet, not to use my phone as a social shield, not to speak to my companions, not to flinch, not to give way.Not to give way.Just stand there and look into the eyes of the passersby.True, I was not alone. There were about eight of us women in a busy subway near a south Delhi market. A few male volunteers accompanied us but did not join us in the more confrontational, challenging actions. They stood to one side and guaged crowd reactions.We, the women, just stood there and stared back. Some of us sat down on the stairs, others stood right in the middle of the subway, facing either direction. We were instructed not to pay attention to anybody who tried to ask for explanations. We did not owe anybody any explanations. But we did give out letters, starting, 'Dear Stranger', and going to describe a woman's first-person account of street sexual harassment.We heard a few warnings; for instance, a watchman told a college-going volunteer that she should not stand around because 'koi galat samajhega' (somebody might misunderstand). She retorted with 'Let them misunderstand... I'm just standing'. He tried telling us that it was forbidden. We told him to show us where it said so - any sign saying 'Do not stand'? Any written order?Somebody suggested that we would be brushed against or pushed about because 'you are in the way'.The point was - we were not! We were neither pushed about nor brushed against, nor pinched nor groped nor even came up to suggest that 'make friendship'. Nobody dared.Because all we did was to stand there and stare, right into the eyes of the passersby, men and women both. As soon as they realised that they were being stared at, they'd look away.And I discovered something wonderful - we women were not just standing there, looking. We were confronting. We were challenging. We were daring. And nobody dared.In the face of aggression, there are two ways to react - one is to fight with one's own inherent aggression, which might result in a physical fight. The second way is to look away, acknowledging that, for the moment at least, you are giving way.Too long, women have given way. When a man comes striding down the street, we step to one side. When a man takes up too much space on a shared bus seat, we cower in our corner, uncomfortable, but silent. When a bunch of men hang round, staring at us, we hurry past, trying to ignore the threat of their eyes.This time, we did not. No slogans, or placards, or black arm-bands, or violence. All we did was let our inherent aggression loose. Stand there - feet apart, eyes unblinking.Jasmeen organised interesting variations each time. One evening, there was a sound element - two recordings playing simultaneously. One was that of a group of boys describing what they looked at in a woman - what their bodies should be like. At the other end, there was the sound of a woman's laughter, hysterical, uproarious.... ever noticed, that in public spaces, very few sounds are feminine? Women rarely laugh loudly, uninhibitedly.[In fact, when I was in school, our Hindi teacher specifically told us not to laugh openly; it was not considered proper for girls].But before that, there was the night walk.To our collective discomfort, there was too much media. Too many cameras, too many TV crews. This was a problem, because the point of the night walk was that a bunch of women should be out at night, doing what they wanted, wearing what they wanted, challenging the public space that prevents women from being out at night.The moment you bring a TV crew into a space, things change. People perceive the whole proceeding as a film shooting, a sham, a staged drama, and not something that is - or should be - a normal part of the cityscape at night.The TV reporters had been warned - if they wanted to come, they'd have to come as participants and volunteers, not as people who gawk, ask questions and leave. This, perhaps, was too much to expect.However, what really made me feel ashamed of my tribe was this article.It says - "the protesters were “leched” at, ridiculed and booed along the three-kilometre stretch of the march, the first of its kind in New Delhi"Factually incorrect. I did the whole stretch and was neither booed nor ridiculed. Questions, yes. Arguments, yes. Booing, no. Leching? Possible? We were too busy to notice.Further, "The organisers, who ran into trouble even before the roadside Romeos, managed to round up just 15 participants."What was this supposed trouble that the organisers supposedly ran into?
"The protesters, in their spaghetti tops and accented English, made quite an impact on the streets. Those who hadn’t turned up in a “mod and hep” attire seemed clearly overdressed."
False. False. False.
Not everyone was in spaghetti tops. [I was.] The women had been asked to come dressed in something they would not normally wear. One friend came in a mangalsutra - the one thing she does not wear. Her friend was in a shalwar-kameez. Many others wore standard T-shirts and jeans.Also, except for a couple of foreign nationals, nobody's English could be described as 'accented'. Unless they meant Punjabi accent, Bengali accent, Dilli-wala accent etc.
The reporter has placed 'mod and hep' in inverted commas. Any particular reason? Was this supposed to be a reference to western clothes? Also, those who were not in western clothes were in regulation cotton shalwars... Overdressed? Who?And even if a woman is overdressed. Let us say she feels like walking about in a Benarsi silk saree... when you come to cover what you describe as a protest (it was never described as one by Blank Noise; it was a night walk/night action plan), why are you so busy taking detailed notes about who was wearing what?There's more.
"Armed with placards, posters and red arrow tags, the protesters..."
We had posters and red arrows. There were no placards. Did the reporter dream those up? What we did have were stencils.This article got it right. Unfortunately, the same media group carried another article, two days later, about the same event, but in a very different tone, possibly because it re-carried the story as given out by a news service provider."A midnight march by women to protest against "touching, staring, groping, pinching and stalking" sounded heroic enough until the protesters ran into stalking Romeos lining up the path."We did not run into stalkers lining up the path.I did run into two young men who seemed concerned at my putting up a poster in Sarojini Nagar. One of them said, "Where's the point of putting it here? This is a government colony..."Implying, of course, that sexual harassment is not a problem in government colonies.I responded by asking, "Why? You think government people are all very shareef (decent)?"That made him laugh in an embarrassed sort of way, and leave. That was all.Anyway, being on the receiving end of media ignorance and inaccuracy is not pleasant. But what really bothered me was the tone of the article. The insensitivity of it. Here is this bunch of women, trying to do something that is generally acknowledged as a huge problem, across the country... And all you can think of writing is the straps on their shoulders or the accents they spoke in?
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Empower, unpower, empower

For a minute there, I felt powerful. For a minute, I thought, it would get sorted now.Now that I am involved, have learnt to speak up, and have discovered a few tools that can out-intimidate the intimidators, I thought I was just about done with street sexual harassment.I should have known better... All it takes is five seconds of letting your guard down.Five seconds, when I step inside the kirane ki dukaan near my house, to buy milk. A man follows me into the shop, and pretends to be just another customer, looking for Archies' greeting cards (in a kirana shop!). I leave, and as I open the gate to my place, the man stops me. Offers to 'make friendship'.I have heard this so many times, and have responded to it in so many ways that I would have laughed outright. If it was not for the fact that I was suddenly frightened. By the knowledge that the man had probably been following me for some time without my noticing, that he now knew where I lived and that I was alone at home.I say 'no thank you'.He does not leave. He says 'don't misunderstand... genuine friendship, I promise'.I tell him that I have many genuine friends and don't want any more. I ask him to leave. I say 'please'.He does not leave.I am reluctant to climb the stairs and open the lock until he has left.He tries to give me a phone number.I do not take it. He does not leave.Finally, I have to turn away, run upstairs and lock all three doors behind me until I reach the top and can peer down to ensure that he has left.Five seconds on the bus, when I am on the phone with my mother, and thus, have forgotten to stay alert and look aggressive.The man sitting next to me has placed his hand on my thigh. At first, so lightly that I don't notice. When I do, I turn to look at him, aghast. I am so surprised, that for a full five seconds, I cannot find my voice.And then, all I can think of saying is - "Ye kya kar rahe ho?" (What are you doing?)He withdraws his hand with a sudden, quick movement and looks out of the window.The rage is slow to arrive, for some reason. But while I get steadily angrier by the fractioned second, I notice what a pitiful picture the man cuts - he is a mouse of a man; a trapped rat of a man... if I wanted to, this minute, I could beat him up. Not because I am stronger, but because he is such a coward and I am so angry. All I can feel is contempt.I say "Get up and get out. Right now!"He gets up immediately, mumbles something about having to get off anyway, and gets off at the next stop.The humiliation is his, but minutes afterwards, I continue to simmer. Others have noticed this little exchange of words and some men are turning to stare at me. I stare back at them and they quickly look away.When I get home, I catch myself wanting to take a bath... And yet, something has changed. This time, my reaction is different from what it would have been two years ago. I did not hit the man. I did not scream. I did not panic. I did not feel the need to create a big scene. I was surprised, felt contempt and anger - I did not feel fear.This, I realise now, is because of blank noise, partly. I have gotten used to dealing with the problem, talking about it, taking it to the very streets where we endure it... So used to it, that it seems incredible that somebody should actually dare to go on harassing me. A corner of my brain was wondering - 'What? Don't they know?'And that is why getting involved was good for me. Blank Noise is not just about getting men to lay off. It is also about empowering women to deal with men who will not keep their unwelcome hands off you. It is as much about dealing with women's fear of public spaces and strangers, as it is about dealing with sexually abusive/intimidating strangers.Which is why I encourage every woman I meet, especially college girls and young professionals, to get involved.It is hard to get involved, I know. It is hard to make time for a battle that's everybody's battle; there are too many personal ones to fight. But hard though it is, it makes sense. For my own sake, for my sisters and for the women we will bring up, some day.To show up, to do something - anything! - against sexual harassment in public spaces. Because these are my spaces too; and I can't let somebody alienate me from my own spaces simply because intimidating shit happens out there.
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Good essay

entered my hostel and was given my room. Ten minutes later, I was on my knees with a leash around my neck....After so many years, I can list all these forms of ‘ragging’ dispassionately, but no one should be misled. Brutality and oppression remain just that, no matter the name used for them. Who were these seniors, and why did they humiliate us so?From this excellent essay in Tehelka.Not only did I find myself nodding in agreement, but found myself going down memory lane, and echoing the conclusion the author comes to -I have never found any use for the education my seniors gave me.... Ragging is a case study for Freud, nothing more.Do read the whole essay.

Priyanka will not be avenged

I should have written about Kherlanji earlier, perhaps. Except that I did not know what to say.When Shivam first sent me the link to the story, it took four attempts to read it through to the end. With each reading, I'd be overwhelmed by a wave - something between frustration, nausea, panic - rising up in revolt.I did not want to read the story. I did not want to confront the fact that it was true, and that this was what the world like. That the perpetrators were ordinary villagers - like the ones I meet when I travel. Ordinary young and old men with complaints about electricity, the lack of health services and joblessness. That it is not one or two or three or four but nearly a whole village.I still don't know what to say.Except that Priyanka will not be avenged even if the whole village hangs. Priyanka will not be avenged as long as you have even one square inch on earth where a woman is held as the repository of male honour.

Priyanka will not be avenged

I should have written about Kherlanji earlier, perhaps. Except that I did not know what to say.When Shivam first sent me the link to the story, it took four attempts to read it through to the end. With each reading, I'd be overwhelmed by a wave - something between frustration, nausea, panic - rising up in revolt.I did not want to read the story. I did not want to confront the fact that it was true, and that this was what the world like. That the perpetrators were ordinary villagers - like the ones I meet when I travel. Ordinary young and old men with complaints about electricity, the lack of health services and joblessness. That it is not one or two or three or four but nearly a whole village.I still don't know what to say.Except that Priyanka will not be avenged even if the whole village hangs. Priyanka will not be avenged as long as you have even one square inch on earth where a woman is held as the repository of male honour.